This no kind of life
October 1st, 2003|| † ||22:11
.......hi again.....this is Wednesday evening, and it hasn't been too good of a day. *sigh* Not one minute was spent with my girl to begin with, and a lot of things went wrong....I shall begin....
....woke up late.....thanks to my mother....who was supposed to help me wake up, but didn't happen...to get some important things done...like my passport, for my upcoming trip to see my future wife next month....and needless to say, I lost the day of today for that....I still had the get the money orders done, and the fed ex envelope...and this doesn't take 10-20 mins....I woke up at 10, and left the house at 10:45.....for she is my ride, she had to get showered, etc....so fine, we do what we gotta do...get caught in traffic...and reach the place at 12 noon....to be at work at 1:30....*sigh* My number was 950 and they were at barely 910....these people take up to 20-30 minutes on taking care of one person, so go figure what time I was gonna get out of there....
I finally reach work....barely on time, and get pestered by the most obnoxious jackass in the world that was ever given a paycheck to. And that would be one of my workmates, whom I would rather not even sayhis name...but needless to say, he made his task of the day to pester me to no rest....I know I shouldn't let that get to me, but when you are fired up, it's not hard to get burned by anger. And by the heavens, even though he's 30, he sure as hell doesn't act like it....he acts like half that. But argh....I don't want to remember that right now. Moving on...
On the way home, with my mother..(she works with me, btw) she starts to complain about the economical situation in the house....and that went worse than anything else today...for the reason that she claims that because of 'other stuff' she can't deal with me on the bills and stuff....when I pay half the shit we have to monthly. Because of my money saving and whatnot...and that pissed me off. She never knew how to manage money to begin with, and now she says shecan't deal with me. When I told her I can make the expenses be sorted much better than they are being now more than a year ago...I keep telling her that she is not paying this alone, and she claims she is...*sigh* Sometimes I wonder what would she have done if I said no to the job they offered me where she works...where would we be today? Would we be in the house we have now? Would I have this computer I am writing this on?
...maybe I am being unfair...but after 4 years being home sitting on my ass and the 3 years I've spent working so far, I've done NOTHING in my life, for my future...why? Because of HER. I've spent the last 7 years of my life helping HER out. And guess what? I'm 20 years old...since last August. I may be too young to complain.....but at 20, I'm not supposed to be paying my mother's bills...I'm supposed to be studying, setting up a career for my future....but no. No fucking money for that! *sigh* At least I am grateful I made it throught one more day of crap...I have a roof and a bed to sleep under, food to eat, a mother, and a beautiful girl who loves me enough to put up with my shit...for this I am thankful. And for the shit I go through, I'm sometimes grateful too...if it wouldn't have been because of it, who knows what kind of wuss I would've turn out to be like. Like my dad maybe...? I'll never know I guess...