A morning of reminiscing
December the 1st, 2003|| † ||6:02
Updating time....more than ever. ^_^
It's been almost a week since I last got back from Singapore...the country where my beloved Jane lives. It was so bloody awesome to be with her...I can't even begin to describe how much fun I had with her. Seeing her has been my goal for the past year...and my hard work has finally paid off. ^_^ But it doesn't end here....it's only starting now...I have a whole road ahead of me. These 2 weeks served as a preview of what's to come, methinks, of our future together as a couple. And a very bright future it is indeed...a very happy life. My days of darkness are over, finally....after 20 long years....I'm ready to embrace the change. But until that happens, in chaos I will remain and in darkness will I dwell...
I woke up 2 hours ago....4am to be precise. I had a dream with her again on this eve. It was my mind's reenactment of our last encounter before I had to return to my homeland...and it was fucking excruciating. We were in some of sort of hotel in Sentosa...and we had just gotten out of the shower...she had a towel wrapped around her body, and I was still drying myself up...when she comes up to me and starts kissing me gently on the lips...repeated kisses one after the other, and her hands firmly against my shoulders. To a break down in tears; with a tight hug; as if it was the last time in her life she was seeing me..."I don't want you to go" she tries to yell in sobs, but the tears and the emotion in her words kill the yelling and make it into a whisper...and by the heavens, I started to cry too. I was so overwhelmed by her love I just couldn't take it. I was way too sad for me to hold it in.
Our last few days together were in a similar nature...with a lot of gloominess in the atmosphere...fearing that dreaded day. I so didn't want to leave...but alas, shit has to creep up to you again...*sigh* I miss my Black Cat severely now...and being awake here in the dark, after such an emotive scene and a passionate break I feel so compelled to hold her close and never let her go...but all I have is pictures of her....lots and lots of pictures...memories of caressing her face haunt me with no regret, reminding me of the paradise I left behind...a world of pleasures and enchantment. Never have I felt so in love before, nor did I dream I would ever be. I am so grateful for her everyday. My life would still have no meaning if it wasn't for her. She is my life, my soulmate, my all. I love you Jane, from here to Eternity.
"What God joins together, Man cannot divide..."