Half sleep...or am I...?
Wednesday March 24, 2004|| ||19:11
....this keyboard.....I glance upon it, as it awaits my fingers to type whatever my mind can conjure...but I can't conjure anything right now...mostly asleep than awake as I am, I think of nothing but speak of what I feel right now...
It's odd. It has been almost a week since I came back online...and a lot of people are missing. The most notable change is that not even Jane is coming online...not as much, at least. I seldom get to talk to her...with her schedule now busier than it ever was. *sigh* It seems we have less time to talk, to be with one another...and to be honest, it has an effect on me.
ίleak Chao§ has returned indeed...more bleak than ever. I find myself in the same solitary plane of some years ago...with not just Jane; but almost no one else ever comes around to just even talk...if someone does; sentences tend to be short and unleading, staying quiet afterwards...and the hours pass with whomever it is, that person busy in their own world, oblivious to anything else...someone always has something to do...when I don't..
But what bothers me the most is that this stupid loneliness overwhelms me so much no words really come into my mind when I do meet with someone...even if I wanted to, sometimes there's not a damned thing I can do. *frustrated sigh* I wonder what the hell is wrong wih me...why do I have to be like this? ....forever condemned to roam in MY own world...the world I've had to make so I at least have company of some sort...the company of ambient music, spiraling words, and maddening thoughts...drowning my woes in my little water bottle....
*looks out the window, while thinking to himself...*.
Hello, nightsky...we meet once more...may your dark blanket comfort me on this eve...