Longing for something I'll never have
September 2nd, 2005|| † ||19:25
....what do you when you lose something that you love with all your heart? What do you do when you lose something...that not only is a dream come true, but it fades back into a dream...that will never come true?
...how do you cope with a pain that is so great and scathing that all you can do weep and feel sorry for yourself...? How do you battle the anger of the agony inside as it tries to come through the sadness....and rise like a volcanic eruption?
...I'm suffering...alone...completely alone...with no one to turn to. No shoulder to cry on. No one to undersatnd what I feel...except the one who caused the pain. That's the only one who understands to perfection...but it kind of beats the point, eh? The only person who can nurture the wound is the one who caused it...
...the kind of wound that hurts with the pain that poets speak of...all because of one woman...whom I can't call 'mine' anymore...it hurts to even look at her when I know that woman doesn't reciprocate my feelings...but she's so beautiful it's diffcult to NOT look...it's torturous...it's unfair...it's excruciating.
I don't know what to do. I know I should I forget...I know I should move on...but when you're still...in love...it's not easy to fall out of love...
...this is the last time I will fall down for this...I will no longer beat myself up after this...I've suffered enough. Now, Cupid...just leave me the HELL alone.